its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
A bitchslap is in order.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
