Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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