there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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