did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize