I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This is my gift to your gina
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
