she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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