Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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