it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
