I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
