So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
