great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
