Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize