Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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