dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
