Your tits are I can't wait for
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
