where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
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On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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