if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize