my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
