my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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