just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she smelled like a LAN party
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
