i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
