If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I party with great urgency now.
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