Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was confusing and full of hummus
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
