I just saw a hot homeless man
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
