Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
im on a boat
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