I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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