that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
