the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
