i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
