they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
