Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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