where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
