he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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