i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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