Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
