You really coming over, don't trick.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
