i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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