Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
