I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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