He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
