i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
