found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
