dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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