i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
