May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
