Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
