he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize