only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
