I want to have your abortion
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
