did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
