If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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