The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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