he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize