I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wannas sexs uuuuu
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
