That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize