Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize