I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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